Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Revealed: Prince Harry's diabolical plans to become King

by Our Royal Correspondent,

The Royal Family is in turmoil today after an investigation by The Dodo Times uncovered a series of plots by Prince Harry to become King.

Papers outlining the dastardly schemes were found stuffed into the pockets of Prince Harry's favourite Nazi uniform which had been sent for dry cleaning.

Prince Harry, yesterday

One shocking plot would have seen his brother and nephew trampled by a herd of buffalo, with contingencies set in place if Prince George manages to escape and live in exile with a meerkat and a warthog before returning as an adult to reclaim his throne.

The plans also reveal the Prince's ambitions to travel back in time to stop Prince William and his coatstand wife from meeting at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.

Another plot would have seen his family being slaughtered during a wedding feast.

Buckingham Palace dismissed the allegations as a "complete and utter fabrication", but this reporter can assure you they are not.

Prince Charles said: "As much as I hate the little bastard, I'd rather talk about the plight of lillywarts."

Follow: @TheDodoTimes

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