Thursday, 3 September 2015

Astroloweather with Mystic Jeff.

The Dodo Times’s weekly rundown of the forthcoming week’s weather by our astro-meteorologist, Mystic Jeff.

Monday - Pluto meets Mars to bring tornados where you least expect it.

Tuesday - The full moon will bring turbulence; and probably some wind if you’ve eaten something spicy.

Wednesday - Saturn meets Venus to bring passionate sunshine.

Thursday - A tall dark columbo-syphilis cloud is on the horizon.

Friday - A magical moon reveals secret rainclouds.

Saturday - Pluto promises amazing progress with work plans plus a surge of unrelenting floods.

Sunday - The waiting is over, it’s time to fulfill your dreams – but remember your umbrella.

Call Mystic Jeff on his astrotarotology line now for only £1.50 per minute. Want to know next year’s sports results through the power of tarot? Want to know whether to get that lingering cough checked through the power of the stars? Want to know who your husband is probably sleeping with through the power of the crystal skulls? Call now!

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